Proper Etiquette in the Time of COVID-19

The government in Scotland recently published a guide for all of those Scots who are concerned about etiquette during the era of COVID-19, helping us all to navigate through the social nightmare that has been created by various levels of government.

 

Here is the introductory section to the COVID etiquette guide:

 

Here are some "Top Tips":

Now, let's look at some more specific examples of awkward social situations that we all dread and how proper social behaviour in the time of COVID responds:

Do you want to know what the worst birthday present ever actually is?  A coronavirus plandemic!  The coffee shop suggestion begs the question; is someone supposed to drink coffee through a mask?

Oh boy, a virtual hug!  That's really intimate and thoughtful way to say that "You are special" to the ones that you love the most!

 

And, just in case you were sleeping, drunk or stoned for the past nine months or happened to not be paying attention for some other reason, the guide closes with this:

While the Scottish government suggests that the majority of Scots have been worried about appearing rude or hurting someone's feelings when they "break the government-mandated COVID-19 behavioural code and that framing one's response to this "misbehaviour" as an "offer" rather than a "request" will help to defuse any potential tension that might be created.  To me, their suggestions all have a passive-aggressive tone but then that might just be me.

 

It's always reassuring to see that governments always seem to find a way to spend taxpayers' money on nonsense like this no matter what country you live in.  After all, in this time of unprecedented government overreach, we simply cannot get enough of the nanny state dictating our every behaviour, can we?