Instructions for Surviving a Nuclear Explosion in the Time of COVID-19

Back in 2003, the United States federal government launched "Ready", a national public service campaign designed to "...educate and empower the American people to prepare for, respond to and mitigate emergencies, including natural and man-made disasters.  The goal of the campaign is to promote preparedness through public involvement.

 

In a recent posting on the Ready website, we find some rather interesting information given that the world has taken a relatively significant step forward toward a nuclear exchange over the past few days.  Here it is:

 

 

For my baby boomer-aged readers, you might remember this instructional video from the Cold War Part 1:

There is no doubt that coats, a student's desk and "ducking and covering" would provide students with complete protection from a nuclear blast and the accompanying radiation.

Now, let's look at at the advice being offered to Americans trying to survive a nuclear explosion during the Cold War Part 2 with my highlights throughout:

 

GET INSIDE

 

Get inside the nearest building to avoid radiation. Brick or concrete are best.

 

Remove contaminated clothing and wipe off or wash unprotected skin if you were outside after the fallout arrived. Hand sanitizer does not protect against fall out. Avoid touching your eyes, nose, and mouth, if possible. Do not use disinfectant wipes on your skin.

 

Go to the basement or middle of the building. Stay away from the outer walls and roof. Try to maintain a distance of at least six feet between yourself and people who are not part of your household. If possible, wear a mask if you’re sheltering with people who are not a part of your household. Children under two years old, people who have trouble breathing, and those who are unable to remove masks on their own should not wear them.

 

Notice that, even though you and your family have the potential to be killed or seriously injured by a nuclear explosion, one of your priorities is to make sure that you are masked and maintain the six foot physical distancing that we've all been brainwashed to believe will prevent the spread of COVID-19.

 

Here's more advice:

 

STAY INSIDE

 

Stay inside for 24 hours unless local authorities provide other instructions. Continue to practice social distancing by wearing a mask and by keeping a distance of at least six feet between yourself and people who not part of your household.

 

Family should stay where they are inside. Reunite later to avoid exposure to dangerous radiation.

 

Keep your pets inside.

 

Yet again, keep wearing that face diaper and stay at least six feet away from people who are not part of your household even though that six foot distance may mean that the building in which you are taking shelter cannot accommodate as many potential victims of a nuclear explosion.

 

Now, let's look at the recommendations for a scenario where you are warned of an imminent attack (i.e. the nuclear weapons have been activated, launched and are on their way):

 

If warned of an imminent attack, immediately get inside the nearest building and move away from windows. This will help provide protection from the blast, heat, and radiation of the detonation.

 

When you have reached a safe place, try to maintain a distance of at least six feet between yourself and people who are not part of your household. If possible, wear a mask if you’re sheltering with people who are not a part of your household. Children under two years old, people who have trouble breathing, and those who are unable to remove masks on their own should not wear them.

If you didn't get the message the first two times, the third time should be a charm.  You are to wear your mask and maintain at least a six foot physical distance from those sharing your fallout shelter that are not part of your household.

And, here's one last bit of advice on how to survive a nuclear explosion in the time of COVID-19:

 

If you have evacuated, do not return until you are told it is safe to do so by local officials.

 

"Make plans to stay with friends or family in case of evacuation. Keep in mind that public shelter locations may have changed due to COVID-19. Check with local authorities to determine which public shelters are open.

If you are told by authorities to evacuate to a public shelter, try to bring items that can help protect yourself and your family from COVID-19, such as hand sanitizer that contains at least 60 percent alcohol, cleaning materials, and two masks per person. Children under two years old, people who have trouble breathing, and people who cannot remove masks on their own should not wear them."

This gives you some sense of just how stupid and single-minded the government has become.  You're about to face potential annihilation thanks to a nuclear explosion and the end of civilization as we know it but yet, the government expects that you're going to bring your own hand sanitizer that contains at least 60 percent alcohol, two masks for everyone in your household and other cleaning/sanitizing materials.  Oh yes, and maintain at least a six foot distance between you and anyone who is not in your household.

 

A question - what happens in a scenario where you don't have hand sanitizer that contains at least 60 percent alcohol?  Will you be shunned by the other people taking refuge with you?  What the government isn't telling you is that, if there is a nuclear explosion, you'd be smartest to bend over and kiss your butt goodbye.

 

Every time that I think that we've reached peak stupid I'm disappointed to find out that we're not there yet.