A Novel Way to Lose Weight

Every so often, particularly on Fridays, I like to post on a subject that is a bit odd and this one really caught my attention.  Don't ask me how I found it, I really can't remember how I stumbled on it.

Nikkan Spa, an online Japanese "magazine", published an article on a weight loss regime that may raise a few eyebrows and, if valid, may prove that our parents were wrong all along.  Other than side effects which may include blindness and hairy palms, this drug-free regime could well be the weight loss miracle that men, in particular, have longed for.

According to the article, a 28 year old Japanese male by the name of Yuichi Ito (a pseudonym, I presume), was concerned about his excessive weight.  At 170 cm (5 feet 7 inches) tall and weighing in at 76 kilograms (167 pounds), the gentleman in question felt that he was chubby, a result of inactivity after leaving behind his chosen sport of baseball after he graduated from high school.  In his seemingly never-ending search for a suitable female companion and weight loss program, he recalled that one could burn calories when they masturbate.  After looking it up on the internet (and we all know that the internet NEVER lies), he found that masturbating once was like running 200 metres.  So, he decided that was the way to go.  Pud pulling, here we come!  (bad, bad pun)

He set himself a target of three times a day, once in the morning, once in the company bathroom during lunch break and once at night before going to bed.  He notes that since he does not have a girlfriend, the secret of success is to "pound at any time".  Let's just hope that the men's washroom at his place of work is a "one-holer" so that he's not sharing his new hobby with the guy one stall over.

Over the two month period, Mr. Ito was able to lose 4 kilograms (10 pounds).  Not only that, with his increased sperm production, his "tone is good all the time"!

Here's the unique and quite frightening artwork that accompanied the news item:

Just in case you were curious, here's the Google Translation of the article showing the prolific use of "Japlish", that unique combination of Japanese and English:

I have only one comment on this story that may throw Mr. Ito's observations into the trash bin; if this technique were truly valid, we definitely would not find that one in three teenage males in the United States was overweight!